******Will contain spoilers******
Massive, big, fat spoilers.
Seriously.
Now the formalities are out of the way! Last night was a pretty dreary, rainy day a.k.a. let's stay in, bake bread, and watch cooking shows. Although now it's down on paper it strikes me that that is actually my normal day- ah the sad life of the unemployed. Anyway, my better half suggested that I sat down and played Heavy Rain, and I'll be honest it's a game that I've always looked at and wanted to play but since I am of the Xbox persuasion with few PS3 owning friends, it's never really been an option. We jest and complain about each other's choice of console (well, I do) but now we get access to the other console's exclusives, and, well, that ain't too bad.
Enough fannying about with introductions. On to the game!
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| Courtesy of http://www.zerochan.net/Heavy+Rain |
"Tutorial"- Poor, crazy Ethan.
I remember being a lot more impressed with the graphics when I saw it advertised and then I was reminded that it was released in 2010 which was a harrowing 3 years ago- how time flies. The tutorial "helped" me get to grips with the controls; in the sense that every time I tried to enter door ways the camera angle would change and somehow I'd get turned around and would enter back into the room I am trying to leave. Frustrating... Yet only the tip of the iceberg. It likes to show off it's speed of animation which you can control- a fun little game I will now play IRL called: How slowly can I get on and off of chairs or reach for things. OH THE SUSPENSE. The PS3 also likes to show off it's 6 axis, something I am not really accustomed to and oh boy does it like to let me know- What's that? You own an Xbox? Oh poor you... You don't get the joys of say, brushing this guy's teeth like it's your own! Let us help you out... NO. DO IT AGAIN BUT BETTER. SCHNELL! SCHNELL!
At this point I am proud to say that I obeyed instructions- albeit slowly... Humorously slowly- and did my best to interact with most objects to see how the game worked. That is, until, Ethan's lovely wife returns home. The turning point in the game for me, attitude towards my style of game play- wise, was having to carefully lay the table with very expensive crockery to which my first natural instinct was to fling the right analogue stick as hard as a could left, and see if I could frisbee the plate out the back door. My lovely boyfriend practically pleaded with me to place everything down neatly and nicely as to not cause a row between the espoused, regrettably I agreed and nothing was broken. Boo. You are then required to go outside and play with your freakishly potato looking children, seriously, those are some ugly kids. You pick your favourite child to play with first and I eventually decided on Jason- the elder of the two and also the birthday boy. The plate urge came over me again as you helicopter your child around by rotating the right analogue stick. Hey kid, I know it's your birthday but I ain't your slave.
At some point there's the introductory credits, I want to say that it's after the bit with your family and a dead bird (something that was supposed to be poignant about death and such which I didn't particularly pay attention to because of the heinous face of Ethan's spawn, also I have a short attention span.) For me, credits involve looking for the funniest name of which there were none. I am disappointed Quantic Dream. Very disappointed. Nothing seems comparable with the names: Roy Noy or Mike Butt (I'm not five.)
So, you're in a shopping centre and have been trusted to look after Jason- mistake number 1. The kid just runs off and you're expected to tail him. You can only walk- mistake number 2 (just run, you bastard.) The kid wants a balloon and you're stuck with picking up the bill- mistake number 3. It is all redeemed however by- you guessed it- JASON x2142385073. In fact, I was actually asked to "please stop that now" by the other half.
NO.
NO.
